Affair With an Unnamed Woman

Who is she?
She said.
Is it your secretary?
Masseuse?
Student?
A college friend?

Does she have a husband too?
Children?
A career or a job?

Where did you meet?
How does she touch you?
Do you visualize her instead of me? Is that why you closed your eyes last night?

You left your e-mail inbox open last night.

Why are you doing this to us?

I wanted to believe that you were the one,
If not THE one, at least, a good man

I don’t know what to do now.

I know what I should do, and that’s leave,
But I can’t do it yet.

I need time to prepare.

What is her name?
where is she from?
Is she better than me?
I want you to bring her to me.

I have no name,
I have no home.
No children, no friends,
No career, no prospects,
No love, no hate,
I am warm,
Luke warm when you are hot or cold
I am soft where you are hard,
Silent when he speaks,
And patient when he doesn’t.

I didn’t want to hurt you,

I only needed to do what was necessary.

I am his only secret, a dirty magazine
I mean nothing to him,
I mean nothing to you.

My feelings are a mystery,
my body, a brothel

We meet, talk briefly
Go to a downtown apartment
And part with nothing but kind words between us.

But he is not a part of me,
Nor I to him.
We only serve a separate,
necessary biological function,

I am not a woman like you;
With fortune, love, children,
And the luxury of spite
Without reprisal.
I have no career, no home,
No husband.

I am merely an oiled hand,
And a hole in a mattress.